Dread, drama, and the gifts of reflection
The power of choice, the importance of support, clarifying desire, self-imposed conditions, life is short, and conquering fears
This weekend, following a week of remarkable creative and organizational achievements, I found myself face-to-face with the very thing I'd been dreading. I couldn't help but chuckle as I penned these thoughts, realizing that despite my age, I could still channel my inner five-year-old brat with impressive precision.
I decided not to invest too much energy in this looming discomfort, though I couldn't ignore the drama unfolding in my mind. It seemed my thoughts were urging me to dwell on how this situation was affecting me negatively. I was tempted to think that someone was disrespecting my boundaries and displaying troublesome negative energy. In short, I was falling into the trap of victimhood.
My mind, ever the dramatist, reveled in the chaos. But the mind, I've come to understand, is a creative entity with a vivid imagination that could give Hollywood blockbusters a run for their money (not mine, at least not yet). Working with my mind, I've learned to distinguish between fiction and reality.
Fast forward to a Sunday morning, 10 AM, noise-canceling headphones firmly in place, a cup of warm green tea in hand, and a selection of snacks within reach. This is the backdrop for my reflections on the past week and the lessons I've gained from working with my clients. These lessons, in many ways, have turned out to be my own reminders.
We Are All Powerful, and we always have the Power to Choose
This week, a remarkable client achieved a breakthrough in conquering her addiction to alcohol. Together, we embarked on a beautiful ceremonial journey in a meditative state, where she realized that the power to choose rests within her. She could either reach for that bottle of wine or opt for an activity that brought joy, laughter, and delight. We are all powerful, and the power to choose is always within us.
We All Need Help to Progress
In recent years, I've been working closely with healing and business mentors, leaving behind the world of life coaching. But an old friend from my coaching school days and I recently reconnected, and we decided to exchange our services. This experience opened my eyes to the blind spots that have hindered my professional growth. This newfound perspective has breathed lightness into my steps and reinvigorated my approach to clients and projects. We all need help to progress; sometimes, we can't see (what we can’t see) the obstacles holding us back.
We All Need an Aim, Our Raison D'être
Another client and I delved into the concept of a definite chief aim, a clear answer to the question, "What do you truly desire?" It struck me that, especially among women, answering this question can be challenging. We often seek things because we feel it's the "right" thing to do, say, or believe in, especially when sharing these desires with others. But when we peel back the layers of our wants, we discover the true roots of our desires. And sometimes, sharing these raw desires with others can be uncomfortable, as it lays us bare. We fear being misjudged for what we want.
On the other hand, not clarifying this deep-seated desire puts us in the whirlwind of other people (or the government, and the world)’s wants and needs and leaves us feeling unfulfilled, confused, burnt out, depleted, and weary. We lose our vigor and our potency. Just like my current favorite occult writer, Mitch Horowitz, suggests, keeping this definite chief aim visible while not sharing it with others—unless they're your supportive mastermind members—can help us maintain focus, prioritize life, and help with making better decisions.
Find Solutions to Get What We Want, Not What We Don't Want
"My client said, 'I want to find my ideal husband. But I don't want to deal with the messiness of starting a relationship. Heck, I don't want to go on dates. Dating is tiring!'" We may chuckle at this, but how often do our desires come with a list of conditions that we don't want? We want to make lots of money, but we don't want to work more than 20 hours a week. We desire business success but despise sales and marketing. The conditions we impose on our wants can eclipse what we truly desire. What we focus on, where our energy flows, matters. If we focus on what we don't want, we shield ourselves from the possibility of achieving (and receiving) what we truly desire.
Life Is Short, Especially At Mid-Life
Standing in front of an occult bookshelf at a local bookstore, I realized just how short life is. My growing interest in the history of spirituality and the philosophy behind the different teachings had triggered a reading frenzy. With numerous thought leaders and new interests in various teachings, it struck me that there was simply not enough time to read all these books, despite my digital reader, audio books, and a mountain of physical books. This realization extended to other aspects of my life that I had been putting on hold. Life is genuinely short, especially now, after reaching mid-life.
There's a quote that resonated with me: "There's only one guarantee we've been given the privilege of when we're born into this world, and that guarantee is death. Knowing this, how would you live?" This quote has become my compass for recalibrating life for the next month and year.
Overcoming Fear Is No Small Feat
I'd love to believe I have no fears, but that's a lie. I fear discomfort, the unpredictability of situations, and the aftermath of dealing with the unexpected. I fear inconveniences.
Every day, consciously or not, we confront our fears. The fear of losing control, the fear of making mistakes, the fear of looking ridiculous, and many more Yet, despite these fears, we continue to live our lives, facing them with each waking moment. So, let's acknowledge our courage in navigating these fears, in embracing discomfort, and in moving forward with our heads held high and unwavering steps. We've got this!
There's only one guarantee we've been given the privilege of when we're born into this world, and that guarantee is death. Knowing this, how would you live?
What passion projects are you aiming to create this week?
What are you bringing (more) into your life today? this month? this year?
What do you truly desire?
If this piece resonates (or not) with you, please share your comment below
Much love,
It's great to see you reflecting on your week and the valuable lessons you've learned. Your insights are thought-worthy and you have a deep understanding of personal growth and self-improvement. Your questions are valuable exercise to remind ourselves of what's important and to keep moving forward with purpose and intention. Thank you for sharing Karen. I appreciate it.